April 1, 2021

I have decided to run for the Senate for many reasons. I’m running as an Independent because I’m disappointed in both political parties, and I think most politicians are clueless, and incompetent.

Before you commit to vote for me, you should know my position on government policies. As a general rule, I am against all government policies. I especially don’t like taxes, and regulations. I don’t like the government telling me what to do.

Having said that, I know we need government, and there are certain priorities I would support: I support a government that is committed to becoming a more perfect union; a government that will establish justice…for everyone, regardless of political party; a government that will insure domestic tranquility, and make the streets safe so that children can play, and be properly educated without fear of gangs, drugs, and drive-by shootings; a government that will provide for the common defense with a strong military capable of defending America from any threat from any adversary; a government that would promote the general welfare with policies that incentivize economic prosperity; and above all, a government that will secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our prosperity with policies that protect, and enhance freedom.

If you vote for me:

I intend to provide you with more benefits than the democratic party can ever imagine. If you vote for me, I can show you a way to get free health care, free housing, free clothing, free food and drink, and free transportation. You will have a personal trainer to improve your physical condition. You will learn the benefits of teamwork with your fellow colleagues regardless of race, religion, gender, or economic background. You will be able to travel to foreign lands, even learn a foreign language. You will learn how to defend yourself against bullies, and bad people. You won’t have to pay taxes on any of these benefits. You will even be paid for getting all these free benefits. You will have the opportunity to learn how to fly an airplane, live underwater, pilot a boat, body surf, paraglide, and how to survive in unpleasant conditions…all for free. You will be able to retire at an early age, and start a new career of your choice. You could earn a pension for life. When you retire, you will be eligible for low interest housing loans, and free college.

Now, I don’t intend to spend my own money to become elected. As a matter of fact, I don’t intend to spend any money getting elected. I intend to win with word of mouth support. However, you can help with a modest contribution in cash, or check. Send money to James T Holland, 261 Merrifield Lane, Winchester, VA, 22602.

Warning! Some people will say I’m too old to run. I am prepared to initiate a class action lawsuit and sue for age discrimination, racial discrimination, gender discrimination, and a host of “isms” that are too numerous to list here.

All the best,

James T Holland Community Organizer

By the way…..APRIL FOOL!!!!!….But you can really get the benefits I promised; Join the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, even the Space Force, and get all the free benefits. Serving your country is a noble pursuit, and very satisfying …